We have no clue who this Henry character is, but he is living the life we would hope our parents would give us if we were born in 2009.
See, back in our day, Henry, there wasn’t a Hooters in a strip mall to celebrate our 1st birthday. We had some shitty McDonald’s where they had these booth chair characters that our mother would throw us on and mention not falling off. BC didn’t get boobs. Yeah, there was the old crusty woman on welfare that was the ‘birthday coordinator,’ but her rack was droopy and reminded us of crusty Ohio women.
That is why, our friend, you recently received “The Greatest Birthday Gift Ever For A 1-Year-Old Boy – A Party At Hooters!”