This Rescued Piglet and Kitten Have Been Inseparable Since the Day They Met


Pets With Crocheted Hats!


These Animals Mourning The Death Of Their Loved Ones Will Make You Rethink Everything


Florence And The Machine Gives Private Concert At Hospice For Girl Who Was Too Sick To Attend The Show

amazing libraries
A Gallery Of The World’s Most Amazing Libraries

The Male Dictionary Vs The Female Dictionary

February 1, 2011 | 6 Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures

men vs female

THINGY (thing-ee) n. 
For a female: Any part under a car’s hood. 
For a male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 

VULNERABLE
(vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. 
Female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. 
Male: Playing football without a helmet. 

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. 
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. 
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys. 

BUTT (but) n. 
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.” 
Male: what you slap when someone’s scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning. 

COMMITMENT
(ko-mit-ment) n. 
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. 
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend. 

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. 
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book. 
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking. 

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. 
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion. 
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding. 

MAKING LOVE
(may-king luv) n. 
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. 
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed. 

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. 
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. 
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest0Share on StumbleUpon118Email this to someone


6 Responses to “The Male Dictionary Vs The Female Dictionary”

  1. Adru Says:
    February 15th, 2011 at 11:47 am

    So, i’m a man now?

  2. Mike Says:
    February 22nd, 2011 at 8:38 am

    WOW I DIDN’T REALIZE MEN AND WOMEN WERE SO DIFFERENT!

    Men like to fart! Women have feelings! Beer! Sex! CRAZY!

  3. tiniestlibel Says:
    March 2nd, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    This is like some shitastic sitcom that dies in its infancy.

  4. Rob Says:
    March 3rd, 2011 at 9:44 am

    Ok so women think, have culter self control are ration and forward thinking, and men are just imature flatulent alcoholic sex fiends.

    Yep this article was definitely written by a woman.

    Remember guys, when you let women write all the definitions of right and wrong and who you are…you always lose

  5. Have An Affair Says:
    July 17th, 2011 at 4:50 am

    Yeah, I guess I have to agree with all the above.

  6. lucy Says:
    October 13th, 2013 at 9:14 am

    what a piece of bullshit writing

Comments




Ned Hardy | Advertise | Contact | Privacy Policy | Copyright © 2016 StomachPunch LLC. All Rights Reserved