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Before And After Marriage

February 25, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: LOL, Writing

marriage before and after

BEFORE – You take my breath away.
AFTER – I feel like I’m suffocating.

BEFORE – She says she loves the way I take control of a situation.
AFTER – She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.

BEFORE – Don’t stop.
AFTER – Don’t start.

BEFORE – Is that all you’re having?
AFTER – Maybe you should have just a salad, Honey.

BEFORE – $60/doz.
AFTER – $1.50/stem

BEFORE – We agree on everything.
AFTER – Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

BEFORE – Victoria’s Secret
AFTER – Fruit-of-the-Loom

BEFORE – I love a woman with curves.
AFTER – I never said you were fat.

BEFORE – Time stood still.
AFTER – This relationship is going nowhere.

BEFORE – You look so seductive in black.
AFTER – Your clothes are so depressing.

BEFORE – I can hardly believe we found each other.
AFTER – I can’t believe I ended up with someone like you.

BEFORE – Passion
AFTER – Good Night

BEFORE – Once upon a time
AFTER – The end

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