5 Classic Pieces Of Literature Ultra-Condensed For People With No Time For Books In The Modern World
April 25, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: LOL, Writing
The Sun Also Rises
By Ernest Hemingway
Stock Hemingway Narrating Character
It was in Europe after the war. We were depressed. We drank a lot. We were still depressed.
THE END
The Great Gatsby
By F. Scott Fitzgerald
Gatsby
Daisy, I made all this money for you, because I love you.
Daisy
I cannot reciprocate, because I represent the American Dream.
Gatsby
Now I must die, because I also represent the American Dream. (Gatsby DIES.)
Nick
I hate New Yorkers.
THE END
Othello
By William Shakespeare
Iago
Your wife’s cheating on you.
Othello
She is? (kills wife) Damn, she wasn’t really.
THE END
Walden
By Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau
A truly rich man doesn’t have money but rather courage, truth, and an inner glory that transcends the passiveness of our physical beings. That’s why I’m going to live in the boonies. (Two years later…)
I’m getting the heck out of here and getting my pencil-making job back. Um. But what I said still goes.
THE END
Crime and Punishment
By Fyodor Dostoevsky
Raskolnikov
I’m so extraordinary, I can commit crimes. (kills some people)
Sonia
I’m the spiritual side of Raskolnikov.
Porfiry
I’m the intellectual side of Raskolnikov.
Raskolnikov
I have reconciled the two sides of my personality, represented so well by Sonia and Porfiry. (confesses)
THE END
via Book-A-Minute
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