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5 Classic Pieces Of Literature Ultra-Condensed For People With No Time For Books In The Modern World

April 25, 2011 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Funny Pictures, Writing

vintage books

The Sun Also Rises

By Ernest Hemingway


Stock Hemingway Narrating Character
It was in Europe after the war. We were depressed. We drank a lot. We were still depressed.

THE END

 

 

The Great Gatsby

By F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

Gatsby

Daisy, I made all this money for you, because I love you.

Daisy
I cannot reciprocate, because I represent the American Dream.

Gatsby

Now I must die, because I also represent the American Dream. (Gatsby DIES.)

Nick

I hate New Yorkers.

THE END

 

 

Othello

By William Shakespeare

 

Iago

Your wife’s cheating on you.

Othello

She is? (kills wife) Damn, she wasn’t really.

THE END

 

 

Walden

By Henry David Thoreau

 

Henry David Thoreau

A truly rich man doesn’t have money but rather courage, truth, and an inner glory that transcends the passiveness of our physical beings. That’s why I’m going to live in the boonies. (Two years later…)

I’m getting the heck out of here and getting my pencil-making job back. Um. But what I said still goes.

THE END

 

 

Crime and Punishment

By Fyodor Dostoevsky

 

Raskolnikov

I’m so extraordinary, I can commit crimes. (kills some people)

Sonia

I’m the spiritual side of Raskolnikov.

Porfiry

I’m the intellectual side of Raskolnikov.

Raskolnikov
I have reconciled the two sides of my personality, represented so well by Sonia and Porfiry. (confesses)

THE END

via Book-A-Minute

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One Response to “5 Classic Pieces Of Literature Ultra-Condensed For People With No Time For Books In The Modern World”

  1. saidan Says:
    April 26th, 2011 at 1:55 am

    hello
    have a nice time

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