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How To Write Good

hemingway

  1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
  4. Employ the vernacular.
  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  10. One should never generalize.
  11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  14. Profanity sucks.
  15. Be more or less specific.
  16. Understatement is always best.
  17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  18. One word sentences? Eliminate.
  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  23. Who needs rhetorical questions?
May 4th, 2011 | Posted in Writing

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  • Kay E

    Correction on #2: Extraneous prepositions… The rule that you can never end a sentence with a preposition comes from Latin. English is a Germanic language, not a Romance language. That has always bothered me.

    • molly

      Oh, come on. Do you really want to end sentences with prepositions that badly? A person sounds uneducated if you end sentences with prepositions, whether or not English is a Germanic language.

  • AL

    You mean….How to write “well”?…..

    • dan

      no shit

  • essem SEE

    nobody caught on to the fact that the author is giving examples of what not to do as he/she lists them. can you say MINDFUCK?

    • Kath

      EVERYONE caught on the the fact that the author is giving examples of what not to do as he/she lists them!

  • alane

    This is one thing up with which I will not put.

  • Kerma

    Al and essem SEE apparently didn’t really get it.

    And Kay E, the “rule” comes from 1700s when Lowth and Murray wrote the first modern English grammars. Sadly, back then it was cool to steal everything from Latin and they didn’t really consider that barely anyone really followed the rule.

  • Pat
  • Nate

    This was cute; kinda like when people say, “I can’t stand to hear all that fucking cussing!”

  • http://www.theseriouscomedysite.com denis

    The irony of having a picture of Hemingway at the top of a list which features the caveat not to write in the passive voice is too rich.

  • http://thelastmuse.com nikkithemuse

    Hogwash. The lot of it. I can end a sentence with whatever I want to end it with. I can hardly call myself uneducated due to that simple fact. Hardly. Chaucer, Shakespeare, Marquez, Morrison, Emerson – these are innovators. They didn’t follow rules. Rules suck anyway. And this is Nikki, the last muse, reminding you to reinvent.

  • Sourboy

    GREAT!
    I just realized I’m illiterate,considering I needed “wiki” to understand most of the terms used in the 23 rules.

    Thanx
    Dreams denied.

  • Stephanie

    Learned stuff