I hate that awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.
Spelt” is a type of wheat. “Spelled” is what you just did incorrectly.
You never realize how boring your life is until someone ask you what you like to do for fun.
The week feels like this: Moooooonday, Tuuuuuesday, Weeeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun.
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a car alarm go off for a legit reason..
I’m disappointed FB didn’t add a feature where I can hide all complaints about FB from my newsfeed.
Some of the things I laugh about on the internet convince me more and more each day that I am going straight to Hell.
Whenever I’m almost done with a bowl of Lucky Charms, I strategize on how I will distribute the remaining marshmallows amongst spoonfuls.
I bet the worst part about being a dwarf is having seven personality traits to try and not emulate.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
I will give you 2 seconds to figure out that you have the right of way before I take it from you.
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.