When someone says 10 years ago, I automatically think of things that happened in 1990.
It’s amazing the places I will wander to in my house while I talk on the phone
The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to tweet or update your Facebook status.
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Fuck it.”
Any time one of my favorite movies comes on tv, I have to watch it, regardless of the fact that I have it on DVD and can watch it commercial free.
I can tell I really must like a TV show if I’m not messing around on my phone or laptop while I’m watching it.
It’s amazing how much clothes can weigh after getting on the scale and seeing a number you don’t like. “Shoes are what, 5 lbs. each? And this sweater must be at least 10…”
My life is like a Mexican soap opera. Not because of drama or plot twists, but because most of the time I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.
I wish someone would name a beer “The Mondays.” That way whenever someone said they have a case of the Mondays it would be a good thing.
We are most likely to ask for advice when we know the answer but want a different one.
Why don’t web browsers wait unil you know if you got the password right to ask if you want to save it?
The moment the thought of skipping class enters my mind, it has been decided I’m not going.
Ladies, lets be clear. When you send nude photo’s to a guy HE WILL show his friends. You’re probably reading this thinking “no, no, no Chad is a great guy”. nope, chad is a dick.. just like the rest of us.
If someone offers a breath mint, just take one.
Parents should never beat their children, unless they want them to grow up well behaved and adjusted.