golden retriever relieves anxiety at dentist office
Dentist Hires A Sweet Golden Retriever To Calm Nervous Patients

missing cat found next to missing poster
Missing Cat Found Sitting Next To His Own Missing Cat Flyer

boy treats mom to dinner with allowance money
6-Year-Old Boy Treats His Mom to a 'Dinner Date' Once a Month With His Allowance Money


This Dog Can’t Stop Smiling After Being Rescued From A Shelter

lanai cat sanctuary 1
There Is A Cat Sanctuary In Hawaii Where You Can Cuddle With 500 Cats For Free!

My Next Life By Woody Allen

November 20, 2012 | No Comments » | Topics: Funny Pictures

woody allen

“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!” 

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest5Share on StumbleUpon0Email this to someone

Comments




Ned Hardy | Advertise | Contact | Privacy Policy | Copyright © 2016 StomachPunch LLC. All Rights Reserved