Regardless of gender, sexual preference, or age, we all go through a phase when we’re not exactly girlfriend/boyfriend material. Our natural instincts and emotions have a tendency to overpower our reasoning, and before we know it, we’re going down a vortex of misery we’ve caused ourselves, one way or another. Consciously quit these unhealthy habits and peace of mind (plus a healthy relationship) is on its way!
The ultimate relationship killer. The beginning of the end. You justify your snooping by saying it’s harmless, and stuff like “if my S/O isn’t doing anything wrong, he shouldn’t have to hide anything from me.” However, this little “harmless” habit of yours will eventually feed your anxiety and it will cause you to overthink even the littlest of things: his bedtime, his work e-mail, his gas station receipts… Suddenly, you’ve turned into a psycho without even knowing it. Seriously, just stop snooping and trust your partner. Sometimes, our brains manufacture red flags even when they MIGHT not even exist at all.
Fairytales, romantic comedies, fiction novels, and porn (duh) are unrealistic. Stop building fantasies in your head and quietly expecting your boyfriend or girlfriend to fulfill them for you. Do you want them to expect more than you can actually give? There’s a thin line between what you deserve and what you think you deserve. Know the difference. Expect within reasonable bounds.
3. Taking Score
It is inevitable to feel good after giving an amazing gift, or doing a huge favor for your partner. However, you must always bear in mind that whenever you give or do something, that doesn’t mean you’re going to get one in return. Be sincere and quit using a scoreboard in your relationship. In cheesier terms, do it for the loooove. Quit trying to be the better half, and instead, be a better whole.
Thinking her dog was lost for two months, they are finally reunited!
Celebrating her 37th birthday, psychologist Dawn Gluskin ponders what life has taught her so far:
‘As I look back over my Iife, I realize how each stage has had a significant impact on where I stand right now. Despite the rough patches, I love it all. Now into my thirties, I’ve discovered what matters most in life.
Here are my top 37 life lessons so far. I’d like to share these with you, and hope you find the kind of inspiration in them that I do.
- Happiness comes from within. We spend way too much of our lives looking for outside validation and approval that eludes us. Turns out, it’s been an inside job all along. Go inward.
- Be grateful for everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. Our entire life is a precious gift. The pleasure, the pain — it’s all part of our path.
- Subtle shifts in perception will transform your entire life. When feeling fearful, angry, hurt, simply choose to see a situation differently.
- In being true to yourself, you can’t possibly make everybody else happy. Still, it’s better to risk being disliked for living your truth than to be loved for what you are pretending to be.
- The world is our mirror. What we love in others is a reflection of what we love about ourselves. What upsets us about others is a strong indication of what we need to look at more closely within ourselves.
ChadMichael Morrisette, a Los Angeles-based brand consultant and visual designer, says he was surprised to receive a message on Facebook earlier this week from the man (name withheld) who helped make his teen years miserable.
The man explained that he’d been inspired to apologize after his young daughter asked if he’d ever bullied anyone.
Morrisette posted the apology on his Facebook page with a note that provided some background:
“During junior high and high school I was bullied for being who I am. I was bullied for being gay. I was bullied for being little. I was bullied for every reason someone is bullied. It was awful. I couldn’t even walk to classes without an adult escort or friends with me.”
The message read:
One phrase that changes people beyond recognition
By Stephen Passman
1. They’re Manipulative
This is the biggest one. Both women and men do it. I see it all the time — someone getting a man to buy dinner or drinks with no interest of getting to know the person, or a man expecting sex for doing so. Manipulative behavior is often not seen at first because of the initial superficial interactions and the “puppy love” effect. Manipulation is when someone acts or uses something or someone with a maleficent or aggressive intention in order to induce a desired action. Manipulation is emotional abuse (Fjeltstad, 2014).
Other big ones to watch out for:
a) Guilt tripping someone into doing something they don’t want to do.
b) Intimidation, using fear, or verbal abuse for creating submission for some action.
c) Positive/ Negative Reinforcement (E.g. Only saying I love you only after someone does something “good” or pleasing to the partner).
d) Anyone who “presses your buttons” or uses your insecurities to get you to do what they want you to do.
e) Giving gifts with strings attached or crossing your boundaries often.
Someone who is manipulative must be in control. So If you find these circumstances to be the case, realize that no one deserves to be subjected to this kind of behavior.