I am ugly. I am unattractive. I know that my skin is awful, my hair is greasy, and society simply does not permit women to weigh as much as I do.
But, mind you, this is not the same as having low self-esteem. Because when I look in the mirror, I hate my body, not myself. I simply shake my head and think, “This isn’t me. This mediocre sack of meat isn’t me. I’m just renting it out, driving it around. It’s a tool. It’s a vehicle. I use it to take myself places that I need to go, and that’s all there is to it.”
Ok fine, I’m not Zen enough to actually believe I can escape with that train of thought. The truth is, I am frustrated with the irreconcilable disconnect between my pride and my presence. The acne mask and the fat suit egregiously fail to conform with my mental mockups of my perfectly badass self. I suppose the only real solution then, besides undergoing extensive surgeries, is to upload my conscience to a supercomputer.
Maybe the Singularity will happen, and everything will be great, but in the meantime, I much prefer the Internet to real life interactions because most of you haven’t got a clue as to what I look like, and if you don’t like me it’s because my ideas suck and not because you find my face unpleasant. The Internet allows me to temporarily abandon the limitations of my subpar physical avatar.
Even if people are especially curious about my appearance, I only allow them to make vague inferences based off a single profile picture, uniform across all my social media haunts, taken a very long time ago at a surprisingly flattering angle, in which I actually manage to trick them into thinking I look quite average. Well, I don’t. I’ve gained 50 pounds since then, and academic stress makes my acne flare up like nobody’s business.
Regardless, I decided a while back that everyone has his or her own strengths and weaknesses, and I would do well to focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses. Even people who are bad at everything are less bad at some things than they are at others. After some introspection, I concluded that I was less bad at learning things than I was at looking pretty, so I would ultimately benefit far more from sharpening my skills and pursuing a technical career than from trying in vain to undo the effects of losing the genetic lottery.
As for the romantic side of things, I avoid unnecessary heartbreak by keeping myself from harboring silly delusions about reciprocated love in the first place. I have rationalized that it is okay for me to be ugly because 1) marriage is not the optimal arrangement for everyone and 2) the human race would likely carry on just fine without my genetic contribution.
I am irritated with the cliché that “everyone is beautiful” because surface friendliness and pretending to be PC don’t solve anything. It doesn’t help the young girl with confidence issues because even if you’re “nice” enough to tell her that she’s beautiful, are you nice enough to, like, actually date her? Words mean nothing without actions, yet it’s patently unfair to expect people not to be shallow because at the end of the day, beauty is beauty, attraction is attraction, and sexual desire is governed by deep-rooted evolutionary impulses that people don’t understand and can’t control.
It would be far more useful to promote the idea that people can contribute to the world in a variety of interesting and fulfilling ways besides making others salivate over their bodies. You can make original scientific breakthroughs! You can regale people with tales of heroic conquest! You can build products that make people’s lives easier! But I guess changing the world wouldn’t make for an effective beauty products campaign.
by George P.H.
Like the caterpillar above, most people think that “everything will be better” once they get/become/achieve something. Whether it’s the right job, car, home, number of lovers or something else, we really expect that one thing to finally make us happy and complete.
This is what I call “waiting to be saved”; expecting an event, time or situation to make you happy.
(My personal favorite is, “I’m not happy now but I will be once I’ve given the best years of my life to my career! Then I’ll finally be able to do and feel what I want!”)
Of course, “everything” doesn’t “get better” when you get what you want. In fact life often becomes harder and more confusing when you’re successful. Why else would so many celebrities have depression & substance issues?
If you’re waiting to be saved, know one thing: it’s killing you. The true secret to being happy and free is to lose all hope. Here’s why & how.
There aren’t many activities in life where just showing up guarantees results. That’s because life is hard. Building a business is difficult, there’s not a step-by-step formula for success. Relationships are complex and can fail even if you do everything right. But there is one thing in life that’s a guarantee: Exercise.
Nothing so simple can have as much of a positive effect on your life. Exercising is by far the smartest thing you can do if you want to live a happier, more active, longer, more vibrant, more energetic life. I’ll go as far as saying that it is essential for true success because well-being defines success. And it’s not even hard to do.
Do you believe me when I say its “simple”?
Here’s why I consider exercise to be simple: 80% of the benefits from exercise are from showing up and exerting yourself. Virtually no training is required. Your body was built for physical activity. You don’t need to think about it or worry that what you’re doing is wrong. Any physical activity for an extended period of time on a regular basis counts as exercise. Just keep it simple to start and do natural human motions: running, pushups, pullups, jumping, dancing, etc.
Obviously there are ways to make exercising even more beneficial by learning more or following specific workout programs, which requires additional effort. When you are ready for more advanced programs, remember to start light, use proper form, and over time add more weight and/or run faster. As you become physically fit and push yourself harder, exercise becomes very challenging. But at its most basic level exercise is stupid easy.
I mean seriously, think about it. You don’t have to know anything or do anything extremely difficult. Exercise only requires that you show up and try. And IF you do this, you will have more energy, feel better about yourself, and see improvements in your health and motivation, at a minimum.
Is this obvious to you? Then why don’t you do it…
You are probably saying to yourself, “I know, I know…exercise is good for you. Everyone knows that exercise is good for you…” If you’re saying this and you already exercise regularly then you most likely haven’t read this far. If you feel this way, but you don’t actually exercise, before you stop reading, hear me out.
Currently you’re a slave to your occupation, you’re worried about your financial situation. You have the desire to travel the world but you have a fear of the unknown. Forget about your savings, travel is the only thing that makes you richer.
All you can do is just stop thinking about it; just do it. When you land flat on your ass on the other side of the world you’ll begin questioning if you’ve made a mistake. When you’re riding a motorcycle from the north to south of Vietnam you’ll be wondering why you’ve never been travelling extensively before. When you’re climbing Everest Base Camp you’ll be questioning why you live in a city. When you’re getting a five dollar massage you’ll be wondering what you’ve been paying thirty times the price for. When you’re eating cuisine that invigorates the soul you’ll be stupefied. When you’re watching a lion crawl through the tall grass of the Okavango Delta you’ll get the perfect photo. When you’re drinking Belgian beer you’ll wonder why anyone drinks Budweiser. When you’re hanging out with Polar bears in Churchill you’ll wonder why we’re not looking closer at alternative energy sources worldwide. When you’re diving with sharks in the South Pacific you’ll realize Jaws was a terrible portrayal of such beautiful creatures. When you’re at Carnival in Salvador, Brazil you’ll wonder why you pay entrance to the clubs where you live. When you’re flying down the side of a volcano in Nicaragua on a sled so fast you can’t slow down you’ll know you did the right thing leaving home.
The list can go on and on and on. The world is far too big to be stuck in an office chair working for some bureaucratic bastards who care more about their bank statements than their employees. I’m going to have to quote Mark Twain here..
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
In the end, who knows.. Maybe you’ll end up marrying a Philippina and living on a white sand beach in the Visayas where your student loans will be a distant memory. Just let go and see what the world has in store for you. – solitaryman69
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Given the scale of life in the cosmos, one human life is no more than a tiny blip. Each one of us is a just visitor to this planet, a guest, who will only stay for a limited time. What greater folly could there be than to spend this short time alone, unhappy or in conflict with our companions? Far better, surely, to use our short time here in living a meaningful life, enriched by our sense of connection with others and being of service to them.
We are, you might say, “brainwashed” into thinking that money is the source of happiness, while what we really need to know is that inner peace is something that comes from within
The many factors which divide us are actually much more superficial than those we share. Despite all of the things that differentiate us – race, language, religion, gender, wealth and so on – we are all equal concerning our fundamental humanity.
Our world and our lives have become increasingly interdependent, so when our neighbour is harmed, it affects us too. Therefore we have to abandon outdated notions of “them” and “us” and think of our world much more in terms of a great “US”, a greater human family.
Gaining mastery over our destructive propensities, through the exercise of awareness and self-discipline with regard to our body, speech, and mind, frees us from the inner turmoil that naturally arises when our behaviour is at odds with our ideals. In place of this turmoil come confidence, integrity, and dignity – heroic qualities all human beings naturally aspire to.
It is vital that young people, the guardians of our future, develop a strong awareness of the futility of violence and war. They can learn from the examples of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr., that non-violence is the best way to ensure peace in the long term. Because the twentieth century was a century of violence, let us make the twenty-first a century of dialogue.
The quality of everything we do: our physical actions, our verbal actions, and even our mental actions, depends on our motivation. That’s why it’s important for us to examine our motivation in our day to day life. If we cultivate respect for others and our motivation is sincere, if we develop a genuine concern for others’ well-being, then all our actions will be positive.
The practice of patience guards us against losing our presence of mind. It enables us to remain undisturbed, even when the situation is really difficult. It gives us a certain amount of inner peace, which allows us some self-control, so that we can choose to respond to situations in an appropriate and compassionate manner, rather than being driven by our disturbing emotions.
Every one of us is getting older, which is a natural process. Time is constantly moving on, second by second. Nothing can stop it, but what we can do is use our time properly; that is in our hands. Whether we believe in a spiritual tradition or not, we need to use our time meaningfully. If over days, weeks, months and years, we have used our time in a meaningful way – when our last day comes, we’ll be happy, we’ll have no regrets.
The first drawback of anger is that it destroys your inner peace; the second is that it distorts your view of reality. If you think about this and come to understand that anger is really unhelpful, that it is only destructive, you can begin to distance yourself from anger.
Although violence and the use of force may appear powerful and decisive, their benefits are short-lived. Violence can never bring a lasting and long term resolution to any problem, because it is unpredictable and for every problem it seems to solve, others are created. On the other hand, truth remains constant and will ultimately prevail.
I never pursued my dreams and aspirations
The number one regret that people have on their death beds is that they were never brave enough to pursue their dreams, but settled for what others expected of them. When they look back at their lives, they tend to recall their unreached goals and aspirations. They are often haunted by decisions that resulted in the lives they ended up with.
While you still have a lot of years to live, be sure to make some time for reaching your dreams. Start working toward your goals now; don’t keep putting things off until it’s too late.
I worked too much and never made time for my family
Excessive dedication to work causes a person to spend less time with their loved ones. Parents can even miss out on the lives of their children, because they spent their best years pursuing careers and making money.
It would do you good to determine what is really important. Do away with unnecessary expenses and things that only crowd your life – this will make room for improved relationships and better lifestyle choices.
I should have made more time for my friends
When health and youth have faded, people realize what are truly valuable – they find that all their income and achievements amount to nothing in the end. What really matters in those last few moments are the people who are dear to them. At that time, they tend to miss their friends.
It’s so easy to get lost in the daily grind that you forget to take care of your relationships. If you don’t intentionally stay in touch, you may lose contact with your friends through the year.