1. For the love of your own life, Don’t smoke. If you’re already smoking. Quit. The excuse that work stress made you do it, is not worth it.
2. Get exercise to be part of your daily routine.
3. Focus on quality not quantity
4. Food/Beverages: Learn, experiment, try out, taste all different types of foods. You eat 3 times a day if not more. Everyone on Earth follows the same routine, get to know food and you can break the ice in so many situations. Besides, its very tasty!
5. Cooking. Learn it. Its fun. You will get to enjoy food more and the company that comes with it.
6. Learn about Finances. Even if it might be boring, or not applicable immediately to you, learn about finances. To make money, you need to understand money, unless you luck out (which very few people do).
7. Start saving. Get into the habit of tucking a few Dollars every week. Try to build up savings for a rainy day.
8. Invest in property. As early as you can. Property in the long run, will always give you a profit.
9. Don’t get caught up in self-pity
10. Be Happy in whatever you do. If you’re not, why push yourself through it (be it life, work, personal relationships, hobbies, etc.)
11. Read. Read as much as you can, especially History and People. So many things will make sense to you.
12. Love the Outdoors. The more you are out and away from your desk, the greater the chance of enjoying life and meeting up with people (accidentally and/or by choice).
13. Dress/Attire. Learn to dress well. It pays back in multiples in life.
14. Frugality. Learn it early enough in life. You’ll thank yourself later on in life.
15. Management: Learn and read up as much as you can about being a Manager, Management Techniques, etc. Even if they may not be applicable to you right away.
Emotions are habits formed through repetition. To change the way we feel, we must change our behaviors.
For many of us, our default emotional responses are negative. We are easily annoyed. We always expect the worst. And we have become bitter towards the world and ourselves. Those negative responses create an endless loop which further ingrains our negativity. We get to a point where we forget how to act happy and therefore be happy.
This is why I’m passionate about the positive psychology movement. It’s rooted in science (not fluff), and actually works. By practicing mindfulness and choosing positive habits we can break our negative cycles to lead healthy, happy, and productive lives.
- Be grateful every day. Praise others often and praise yourself even more. What are you proud of? What are you thankful for? Journal something positive about yourself or your day. We are our harshest critic and our constant self-teardown reinforces allow sense of worth. Instead of always asking “What’s wrong with me?”, start asking “What’s right with me?”
- Stop victimizing yourself. Bad stuff happens to everybody — you’re not the only one. I’m not downplaying your problems but it’s a reality you have to accept. Absolving yourself of all responsibility and blaming the world won’t fix anything. You are not entitled to happiness. So…
Everyone has one common goal in life: to achieve true happiness. The biggest factor holding us back from achieving our dreams is, simply and sadly, our own selves. We put limitations on ourselves everyday, whether intentionally or unintentionally. There are so many ways we can alleviate these restraints.
Remember, life can either be something you embrace or something you hide from. Stop making things complicated and just live your life. It would be so much simpler and more enjoyable if we learned to just release certain limitations.
Let’s take a look at the things you need to let go of in order to become a happier person.
1. The Approval Of Others
Who gives a sh*t what other people think? If you are happy with the decisions you have made, then whose business is that but your own? Think of how much you could achieve if you stopped letting other people’s opinions dictate the way you live your life. Do you, and engage in whatever actions you think might better your life.
Anger will eat at you from the inside. Learn how to make peace with those who have wronged you. This isn’t about letting the other person off the hook; it’s about alleviating the pain that resonates within you. Keep in mind that he who angers you, controls you.
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”
3. Negative Body Image
There is only one person’s opinion you should be concerned with when it comes to your body and that is you. No one person determines what the “correct” body type is. If you are comfortable in your own skin, and you are healthy, then that should be the only thing that matters. Do not let others tell you that you’re not beautiful because if you believe you are, then you are.
4. Idea Of A Perfect Partner
There is no such thing as a perfect partner, so throw your checklist out the window. In life, what prevents us from moving forward is looking at the perfect image of a partner we concoct in our minds. Find the right person for you: one that you can love with all your heart, one you feel comfortable with and one that accepts you for the person you are. The sooner you realize there isn’t one perfect person out there for you, the better off you will be.
“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” – Bob Marley
It was another day in the office and Jeff was sitting in his desk chair, staring at the lifeless, gray walls which defined“his” space. Jeff hated his job and was generally frustrated with life because he was a slacker and he knew it.
There was the time that he wanted to run a marathon. He bought a new pair of running shoes and a running book, but only showed up to run for a couple of weeks before quitting.
There was the time he wanted to build his own website. He read all about it for months and researched everything. He even put up his own site, but after a couple of weeks, he quit when nobody visited the site.
There was a similar pattern. Jeff would get excited about something and get off to a quick start, but when he didn’t see results, he quickly became discouraged and gave up. After giving up, he would fall back into old habits and life was the same for Jeff day in and day out, year in and year out. And now here he was, bored and frustrated.
It was on this day that Jeff was sent back in time.
He couldn’t tell what had happened, but out of nowhere he found himself in the middle of an ancient construction site. He looked all around trying to get his bearings when he saw it: the Roman Colosseum being built before his very eyes. He thought to himself, “What the hell is going on here?”
Jeff explored the construction site in amazement and came across a man who appeared to be a stonecutter. He was about Jeff’s size with a large hammer, standing next to an even larger rock. As Jeff passed the man, with one great blow, the stonecutter split the giant rock in two.
Jeff thought to himself, “Wow, what a man! I can’t believe he cut that rock with one hit!”
Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had
1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.
by Henri Junttila
“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”
Goals serve as something to aim for, so don’t get too hung up on reaching them. Focus on enjoying the journey and the process.
If you’re hiking on a beautiful trail, your goal is to get to your end destination, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the walk, or even change direction. Be open, be flexible.
"Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind."
The happiest people in the world are flexible. They do not have rigid beliefs or try to control and manipulate their surroundings to make them happy.
They are okay with how things are. They accept, they live in the now and they breathe. If you want to have a fulfilling and happy life, be flexible and accept things as they are.
“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.”
There’s no time for procrastinating, making excuses and succumbing to your fears. I know it can be hard, but you will ultimately die, so why not make the best of your life?
Don’t waste time, instead start boldly moving towards your dreams. You will fail and make mistakes along the way, so stay humble and stay in the now.
- Your ego hurts you more than it helps. Embrace that you’re not perfect (no one is). Take honest looks at yourself, evaluate where you need improvement, and change it. Being prideful and refusing to admit your weaknesses will stunt your personal growth. Your faults are only permanent if you allow them to be.
- You can be an adult and still have fun. Being grown up doesn’t mean you have to become Oscar the Grouch. Laugh often, smile more, be playful like a child, and let loose. Be responsible and mature when necessary, otherwise don’t take yourself too seriously. And never let people who are miserable try to take your happiness away.
- Successful people fail and get rejected often. In every field, the ones who “make it” have been defeated more than you know. Rarely does anyone just fall into success. Countless authors, inventors, athletes, and entrepreneurs have defied adversity because they refused to give up. Every failure is one step closer to winning.
- You can learn something from everyone. Don’t underestimate a person’s value before you’ve given them a fair shot. They may not be knowledgeable in a certain area but could teach you something profound in another. You’ll be surprised at what you can learn if you just listen without judgment.
- Don’t rush into or through relationships. Be social, find people you connect with, and discover what you’re looking for in a partner. Never jump into a relationship solely out of fear of being alone. Once you’re together, don’t hurry into attaining “the next level.” Just being with each other should be enough (especially in the beginning) so savor it.
- You are not entitled. Everything worth having takes incredible dedication and effort. Don’t expect handouts and don’t sit around waiting for good things to happen. Make the most out of every situation: work hard and you’ll reap the rewards. You’ll only get out of life what you put into it.
- It will come back to haunt you, so document everything. I believed you could settle every career dispute verbally and in a casual fashion. Unfortunately, when someone else’s job is on the line, they will throw you under the bus. You must have dated and written evidence (e.g. specific e-mails, signed documents) prepared to defend yourself effectively. You might only need it once, but it could save your ass…it has for me.
- You are smarter than you know. Trust in your abilities. That doesn’t mean you should blindly believe you’re better than everyone, but don’t let internal or external voices hold you back. Do not equate youth with stupidity – some of the most successful business leaders and entrepreneurs today are under 30.
- A relationship will not fix your problems. If you’re unhappy, don’t expect another person to change that. Often, you’ll only end up spilling those problems onto them. Make sure you’re content with who you are before trying repair it through someone else. The only one who can determine your happiness is you.
- Developing your social skills is critical. This is the foundation on which to build your personal, professional, and academic fulfillment. In the real world, it’s not always about what you know but who you know. You need to learn how to communicate and relate with others in all aspects of life. These skills can’t be put on the backburner, start practicing them every day.