Shout out to all the grandpas and grandmas who never say no.
“I’m just here following my dreams.”
1. When you’re sitting by yourself in a public place and someone sits next to you, your first instinct is great. I hope they don’t start talking to me.
2. Then they start talking and you’re like, FUCK.
3. They’re blah blahing about their day while you silently wonder who you pissed off recently to warrant this kind of karmic retribution.
4. And then you consider how to escape the situation and/or wonder how long it’s going to be until they stop talking.
5. You don’t even try to hide your side eye anymore. It’s basically an art form at this point. Like, your friends have actually complimented you on your side eye before it’s that good.
6. Any small space where you get stuck with other people is basically your own personal hell. Elevators, the cream/sugar corner at a cafe, waiting in line. These are all TERRIBLE places to get stuck with strangers.
“Welp, time for my third nap of the day.”
Or when they hear the word “treat.”