1. Put a bunch of shit in jars.
You know when you buy rice, pasta, or grains, they come in perfectly good plastic packaging? Well throw them out, pour the contents into big jars, and put them on display. Voila! Oppan cottage-style.
2. Put some big bottles of fucking mineral water in the fridge.
Your guests don’t need to know that you usually drink water out of the kitchen tap. If you really want to wow them when you give them a glass of water, just give them the sparkling stuff without even mentioning it. They’ll think you drink fancy water ALL THE TIME. You fucking liar.
A photographer from Ireland, Allan Dixon seems to befriend any animal he meets, and these selfies taken with different animals prove it. One selfie can take between five minutes to three hours. It depends on the animal and how safe it feels. Luckily, what the photos don’t show is the amount of dirt I got on me while rolling around on the ground just to take the photos. But the results were worth it!» The photographer gives a piece of advice to people who want to take cool selfies just like these: do not provoke the animal, be calm and gain the animal’s trust. But first of all, make sure it’s not a crocodile.
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can’t smoke a one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as ‘dressed up.’
10. You’re the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.