As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY. As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY. As I began to love myself I understood that in any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY. As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health— food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since, I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY. As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART. We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!

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This Sums Up Alcohol Ever So Nicely – Caveman Circus

A Whole Lot Of Nope (GIF) – Awesome Galore

Pictures Of Animals Sleeping Is Soothing To The Soul (21 Pics) – We Rule The Internet

68 Sexiest Pictures Of Vanessa Hudgens – The Slingshot

The 20 Hottest Photos of Kaley Cuoco – Heavy

Lora is your damn cute college girl of the day – College Humor

A Little Too Much Booze for These Celebrities (64 pics) – Linkiest

Things We Don’t Have in America, But Really Should – Uncoached

Six Movie Bars Where I’d Like to Order a Drink – Unreality Mag

Natasha Barnard is a Godsend from South Africa – Regretful Morning

Taylor Swift looking hot at Billboard Awards – Yeeeah

Kerina Derizans Likes Her Bikinis Revealing – Don Chavez

Woman Bowls Ball into Ceiling – Ego TV

Turning A Jawbreaker Into A Cup

How To Use Paper Towels Properly

A Superb Short Film about Baseball Legend Pete Rose

Japanese architect Sou Fujimoto has come up with a unique design for a house in Tokyo, Japan. Made up almost completely of transparent glass, the house is made up of 21 ‘platforms’, each of which can serve as a working, resting, sleeping or living space. Based around the concept of a ‘tree’, each platform is linked to each other by movable or fixed stairs and ladders, making it seem like an enormous loft.

“The intriguing point of a tree is that these places are not hermetically isolated but are connected to one another in its unique relativity. To hear one’s voice from across and above, hopping over to another branch, a discussion taking place across branches by members from separate branches. These are some of the moments of richness encountered through such spatially dense living,” says Sou Fujimoto.

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NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless

accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,

and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME______________________________________  DATE OF BIRTH______________
HEIGHT____________  WEIGHT_____________  IQ__________  GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #___________________  DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS__________________________  CITY/STATE___________  ZIP_____
Do you have parents? ___Yes  ___No

If No, explain:

_______________________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ________________________________
If less than your age, explain ________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Do you own a van? _______________
A truck with oversized tires? _______________
A waterbed?_______________
A pickup with a mattress in the back?_______________
Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a navel ring? _______________
A tattoo?_______________
(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?______________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Church you attend ____________________________________________________
How often you attend _________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
Answer by filling in the blank.  Please answer freely, all answers are

confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
_____________________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
_____________________________________________________________________
C: A woman’s place is in the:
_____________________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
_____________________________________________________________________
What do you want to do IF you grow up? ______________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _____________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE

BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE

AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER

TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_____________________________________________

Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
Thank you for your interest.  Please allow four to six years for

processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.  Please do not

try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you

injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two

gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch

your back).

Best Feelings In The World (20 Pics) – Caveman Circus

Incredible Animal Photography (20 Pics) – We Rule The Internet

Breakdown Of A Gamer Girl’s Environment – Awesome Galore

5 Girls You’ll Meet At A Music Festival – The Slingshot

The 20 Hottest Photos of Elisha Cuthbert – Heavy

Katya is your damn cute college girl of the day – College Humor

50 Bookworm Babes You’ll Miss After College – Linkiest

Joanna Koltuniak’s Side Boob Peekage – G-Celeb

Bregje Heinen Can Do Whatever She Wants – Uncoached

Natasha Barnard is a Godsend from South Africa – Regretful Morning

Drunk Guys Stage Pro Wrestling Match outside Bar – Ego TV

Trailer for ‘Kumare’ — a filmmaker spends years pretending to be a spiritural guru from India, and even builds up a following in Arizona, while documenting the entire ordeal

Awesome Hand Made Knives By Bob Kramer

Karl Pilkington argues with a starving African (Ricky Gervais)