golden retriever relieves anxiety at dentist office
Dentist Hires A Sweet Golden Retriever To Calm Nervous Patients

funny things cat owners will understand
A Few Things Cats Only Cat Owners Will Understand


24 First And Last Pictures Of These Loved Pets Will Leave You In Tears

little girl meets garbage man
This 3-Year-Old Gave A Birthday Cupcake To Her Hero, The Garbage Man


17 Captivating Photos Collected From History

Top 10 Reasons To Make Gay Marriage Illegal

August 30, 2011 | No Comments » | Topics: List |

gay marriage

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.


No Comments »








Ned Hardy | Advertise | Contact | Privacy Policy | Copyright © 2016 StomachPunch LLC. All Rights Reserved