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The Inner Monologue Of People At Work Today (15 Pics)

February 26, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: LOL |

office thoughts

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5 Emotions Invented By The Internet

February 15, 2013 | 1 Comment » | Topics: LOL, Writing |

feelings invented by the internet

By Leigh Alexander

A vague and gnawing pang of anxiety centered around an IM window that has lulled. During this time an individual feels unsure whether they have offended the IM recipient, committed a breach of IM etiquette, or have otherwise spoilt the presentation of themselves carefully crafted thus far thanks to the miracles of the textual medium. The individual must be at least vaguely aware that they are being vaguely paranoid, and must tell themselves things like ‘he probably just stepped away from the keyboard’ or ‘I know she is at work right now so perhaps she has stopped replying because she is busy.’

This sentiment of anxiety must surface only after an extremely brief lapse in the pace of the conversation [range of ~30 seconds to 1 minute], and the individual must tell themselves things like ‘it has only been like a minute, don’t worry.’ The individual may mull a mental history of their prior IM conversations with the subject and with others in an attempt to gauge whether the lull is ‘normal’, or to extrapolate what the lull might indicate about the subject’s sentiment toward them. The individual may experience elevated heart rate and depersonalization, and while staring at the screen with an unfocused expression, have catastrophic thoughts about their romantic history, their ability to be liked by others in the future or their key flaws.

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39 Epic One Liners

February 5, 2013 | No Comments » | Topics: LOL |

epic one liners

1. Common sense isn’t.
2. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
3. Children: You spend the first two years of their life teaching them how to walk and talk. The next sixteen? Spent telling them to sit down and shut up.
4. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
5. My mother never realized the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
6. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
7. Cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny.
8. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
9. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
10. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
11. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

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