The saying goes, ‘you are, what you eat’ and if you are eating anything offered in today’s society, you would be a ghastly mutant composed of high fructose corn syrup and a myriad of chemicals, nitrates, preservatives and additives. Here’s a pretty intriguing video of Bill Maher discussing the current state of food with Michael Pollan, a professor at UC Berkeley and author of “The Omnivore’s Dilemma”.
1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Here’s a pretty damn awesome video of Zach Galifiankis lighting up and smoking a joint on Real Talk With Bill Maher. People of California! The election is today and Prop 19 is on the ballot. Let me ask you one questions….how many people die from marijuana related deaths every year as opposed to alcohol related deaths? Make that shit legal already.
Here’s a pretty awesome video of Jimmy McMillan, from the Rent Is Too Damn High Party, telling it like it is, pulling no punches and giving New Yorkers plenty of reason to vote for him in the governor’s race. Yeah he might be a little off his rocker, and yeah you might not agree with forwardness but at least vote for him for his epic beard.
I’m pretty sure many of you will agree with me when I say that campaign speeches are long and drawn-out borefest with lots of empty promises. However, I would like to present to you an exception to the matter, a campaign speech that will titilate and stimulate you like no other campaign speech ever has.
His name is Phil Davison and although he is only running to become the treasurer canidate for Minerva, Ohio, his speech has the strength, vigor and command of a general leading his troops into the deep, dark, depths of hell. Sit back, relax and enjoy the crazy that is Phil Davison.
Although I think it should be required that all politicians have the ability to read, write and having the working intelligence above that of a garden gnome, we should make an exception for gubernatorial candiate for Tennesse, Basil Marceaux. His platform to plant vegetation on all vacant lots for cash, to stop all traffic stops and to make the flag fly right is just to compelling to pass up for such minor flaws.
Here’s a campaign ad from the True Republican PAC against gubernatorial candidate Bradley Byrne, mocking him for his support of teaching evolution in the Alabama school system and his rejection that every part of the Bible is true.
This is pretty funny until you realize that this man could soon wield a lot of power, then it just becomes incredibly depressing and terrifying.
This one goes out to all my Arizona brethren who are having a hard time accommodating the caucasian look.
As if the first teabagger meltdown wasn’t entertaining enough, here’s a clip of another teabagger fired up and just losing it after she catches a whiff of a healthcare reform loving liberal.
It should be duly noted that the crux of the teabagger argument lies on the belief that anyone who disagress with their position hates America and is a terrorist sympathizer.
Here’s a douchey campagin ad for Tim James, one of the frontrunners for Alabama’s Goveneorship.
Forget education, forget the economy, forget job creation, forget reducing crime, Tim James is all about recquiring everyone in the state to speak English. You can see that passion in his voice when he points out that drivers license exams have to be printed out in 12 languages! I shudder at the thought that all that paper is wasted and all that trees are cut down and all that ink is wasted. Tim James you have my vote!