There’s a specific kind of existential clarity that only hits you when you’re standing in a Costco freezer aisle at 11:07 a.m. on a Saturday, questioning whether you really need a 64-pack of string cheese, even though you haven’t eaten string cheese since Obama was in office. You look around and realize: everyone here is doing the same math. Everyone’s pretending this is normal. That bulk toilet paper is a rational choice. That the $1.50 hot dog is the last bastion of economic stability. That this—this warehouse, this smell of rotisserie chicken and synthetic flannel—isn’t just retail. It’s a worldview.
Costco isn’t just a store. It’s a shared hallucination with a membership fee. A place where suburban pragmatism and apocalyptic hoarding tendencies intersect under harsh fluorescent lighting. And somehow, memes—those strange little internet hieroglyphs of modern consciousness—are the only things capable of truly capturing it.
So here are 33 of them. If you know, you know. If you don’t? Well… you might be shopping at Target.
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