“We believe that we can change the things around us in accordance with our desires—we believe it because otherwise we can see no favourable outcome. We do not think of the outcome which generally comes to pass and is also favourable: we do not succeed in changing things in accordance with our desires, but gradually our desires change. The situation that we hoped to change because it was intolerable becomes unimportant to us. We have failed to surmount the obstacle, as we were absolutely determined to do, but life has taken us round it, led us beyond it, and then if we turn round to gaze into the distance of the past, we can barely see it, so imperceptible has it become.”
– Marcel Proust, In Search of Lost Time
This insightful quote from Marcel Proust’s monumental work, “In Search of Lost Time,” delves deep into the human condition, examining our relationship with desire, change, and the passage of time.
Proust suggests that human beings inherently believe in their power to mold reality according to their wishes, a belief fueled by an aversion to accepting situations we find undesirable or intolerable.
This belief in change is driven by our inability to conceive of a positive outcome without such transformations.
However, Proust introduces a profound observation about human resilience: more often than not, it is not the world that conforms to our desires, but our desires that evolve to fit the world as it is.
The change we yearn for in the external world may not occur, but internally, our perspectives and desires undergo a transformation.
Over time, the very situations we deemed intolerable and sought to change lose their significance.
We adapt, our priorities shift, and what once seemed like insurmountable obstacles gradually fade into the backdrop of our lives.
This process is so gradual and subtle that, when we look back, the obstacles that once loomed large are barely visible.
Proust is highlighting a form of resilience that is less about overcoming obstacles through sheer force of will and more about the fluidity and adaptability of human desire and perception over time.
This perspective suggests that the journey of life navigates us around obstacles rather than directly overcoming them. In doing so, it underscores the importance of time in altering our desires and perceptions, often leading us to peace and acceptance we couldn’t initially envision.