“My children didn’t choose to be born, I chose to have children. They owe me nothing, I owe them everything”
This quote can be seen as a direct challenge to the sense of entitlement that some parents feel towards their children.
Some parents may believe that because they chose to have children and raised them, their children owe them certain things in return. This could be in the form of obedience, achievement, financial support in the parents’ old age, or even just constant gratitude. In some cases, parents may use phrases like “After all I’ve done for you…” or “You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me…” to guilt their children into certain behaviors or choices.
However, this quote pushes back against that narrative. It asserts that children don’t owe their parents anything simply for being born and raised. The decision to have children was the parents’, not the children’s, and therefore the primary responsibility lies with the parents.
The quote suggests that the parent-child relationship shouldn’t be transactional, with the child expected to “pay back” the parent in some way. Instead, it should be a relationship of unconditional love and support from the parent to the child.
This isn’t to say that children shouldn’t appreciate their parents or that they should never help them. But it does mean that this should come from a place of genuine love and willingness, not from a sense of obligation or guilt.
In families where parents do feel entitled to certain things from their children, it can lead to a lot of tension, resentment, and even emotional manipulation. Children may feel like they can’t live their own lives or make their own choices without letting their parents down. They may carry a heavy burden of trying to “repay” their parents, even at the cost of their own well-being.
By contrast, parents who embrace the mindset of this quote – that they owe their children everything and their children owe them nothing – are likely to foster a more healthy, supportive, and loving relationship with their children. They give their children the freedom to be themselves, to make their own choices, and to live their own lives, while still being there to offer love and guidance when needed.
It’s a powerful perspective shift that can lead to much healthier family dynamics.
Related Posts:
