1. You feel peaceful near him/her. They don’t trouble you. Their presence is reassuring, they stand by your side, they encourage you, they will challenge you to be a better person. Of course they are still human with flaws, they have good days, bad days, times of fear, worry. They do not put you down, they are proud to show you to the world, they will try to bring you joy. If they know you like something they will do that, maybe if that’s not big on their list.
2. When my husband and I started dating, I knew we were going to get married pretty quickly. The difference between being with him and my ex was night and day. With my ex, everything was hard and took a lot of work, not just the not-fun things like domestic labour… everything was hard – agreeing on what to do for fun, spending time with our friends, getting a new pet, sex – all of it was a fight or a debate or a long exhausting conversation. When I was in it, it all felt normal because I thought “relationships take hard work.”
With my husband, everything was easy right from the start. My friends loved him and he loved them, spending time together just felt joyful, we wanted to do the same things – or if we didn’t we could just part ways and not have it turn into “a thing.” We were very sexually compatible, there was no jealousy, no weird hang ups that either of us had to accommodate and figure out. When something wasn’t working, we just talked it through and then it stopped being an issue no more having the same debate or argument over and over and over again. When it came to good things in our lives, we supported each other and celebrated each other enthusiastically – we pushed each other to challenge ourselves and felt more capable because of our relationship, not held back or burdened by the other person.
We’ve hit rough patches and been through a lot of challenges together, and I’ve learned that when they say a good relationship takes work it means the work of continuing to cultivate love and care for each other when life throws challenges your way, or the joyful work of keeping your relationship fresh and fun after you’ve been together for a long time. It doesn’t mean every tiny interaction that you have should leave you feeling exhausted and beaten down.
I think if you’re with someone and it just has a level of ease that you haven’t experienced before in past relationships, that’s a pretty good sign.
3. My husband complements me well. He makes my mornings easier when I’m getting ready for work and he’s there for me at night when I need to decompress. He’s a great support system when I’m having a bad day, he doesn’t get upset/ instigate petty arguments and he communicates clearly about everything. He’s never my problem, we only share and tackle problems together.
That gut feeling that your partner’s always on your team rooting for your happiness and that your day is always better when they’re around is probably a good indicator.
4. Comforting and exciting. Comforting because you know you have eachother’s best interest at heart. Exciting because anything possible when you’re going through life with a true partner.
5. Been in quite a few relationships, but my wife is the only one that hasn’t brought me extra stress. I mean the biggest fight we’ve had was because she was tickling me too often. I sometimes get stressed easily or even angry easily. She can either calm me down quickly or help me not get there in the first place. With how my life has been this is the most amazing thing that could ever happen to me.
6. It’s supremely fulfilling emotionally. You have someone that you know is in your corner for all the ups and downs. Also, you get an opportunity to build a life with someone and pursue the other things in life that you love as well as help your SO pursue the things that they love. It truly is special and I thank God everyday for how lucky I am.
7. Fucking awesome. Built in best friend, who takes care of you when you’re sick, who you get to have sex with, and you get to spend the rest of your life with. We’re going on 5 years, and it keeps getting better. Not that we don’t fight and have our issues, that’s totally normal, but we both want to put the work in, and communicate through it. It’s amazing!
8. It’s like haveing some one in your life that just loves you all the time no matter what. You are having a good day they love you and want to share it with you. You are having a bad day and are all grumpy and huffy they love you. You put makeup on and you fave outfit they love you for being so sexy. Your have a lazy day in your pjs with messy hair they love you. It knowing that know matter where you go or what you do you have some one that loves you with all your good and your bad.
9. Comfortable, respectful, and just a joy. Somebody that gives you lots of space, and understands you are both adults with lives, and that it’s ok to do your own thing.
10. You can get through challenges without becoming adversarial. You are on the same team. You genuinely like each others company.
11. Easy, tbh. Not easy like you never fight, or you never have to accommodate, or be flexible. It’s just…not a constant struggle where you’re trying to convince yourself that everything’s ok. That shit is exhausting.
12. It’s like a lovely ball of peace, joy, and happiness all rolled into one. It’s the warm fuzzies and butterflies at all the right times. It’s the smiles and the smirks that still pull the heart strings. Yep, I’m still in love even after a crazy 10 years of marriage.
13. It’s awesome. Every day feels like a sleepover with your best friend. We never get tired of spending time together. We also spend a lot of time together, yet doing our own hobbies. Also, the best sex of your life because you’ve known each other for so long and actually care if it’s good for the other person. 8 years and going strong!
14. Really fucking awesome.