Edward Hopper – Summer evening (1947)

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Being a narcissist isn’t what most people think it is. It’s not walking around thinking you’re better than everyone else all the time. It’s not constant confidence or arrogance or being some cartoon villain manipulating everyone around you while you twirl a mustache. It’s a lot more pathetic than that, honestly. It’s about power—but specifically, needing power to feel okay. To feel safe.
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If you went through hell as a kid—if the people who were supposed to protect you ended up being the ones you needed protection from—you’ve probably wondered if you’ll ever really get past it. If the weight in your chest will ever lift. If the anger will ever stop simmering. If the quiet, aching loneliness that shows up in the middle of the night will ever leave you alone.
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Let’s get something straight.
Losing a million dollars doesn’t happen the way you think it does. It doesn’t explode—it evaporates. One option trade at a time. One rationalization at a time. One quiet moment when you swear to yourself this is the last time. Until it isn’t.
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History has a way of making people into symbols. Saints or villains. Patriots or traitors. But peel back the mythology, and you find human beings—messy, calculating, scared, ambitious. And few moments illustrate that better than what happened in 1947, when a rising actor named Ronald Reagan sat down before the House Un-American Activities Committee and started naming names.

Let me get this out of the way: if Guernica doesn’t stop you in your tracks, check your pulse. This isn’t just one of Picasso’s masterpieces—it’s one of the only works of art that still feels like it’s on fire.
It’s twelve feet tall, twenty-five feet wide, and it screams. No color. No gentle transitions. Just black, white, and the kind of gray that lives in the back of your throat when you’re trying not to cry. Horses collapsing. Women howling. A child dead in a mother’s arms. Light bulbs as eyes. A broken sword. This thing is biblical. It’s a modern apocalypse told with geometry and grief.

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More than most people realize.
Much of what plays out in adulthood—ambition, perfectionism, anxiety in relationships, difficulty trusting others, people-pleasing, or the aching need to be chosen—isn’t just about the present. It’s a continuation of a much older story. One that began long before there was language to explain it. When children don’t receive consistent, safe, unconditional love, they adapt. Not by asking for less, but by trying to become more of whatever seems lovable.
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Traditional computers—the one you’re using right now—are built on bits. These bits are either a 0 or a 1. Everything your phone, laptop, or PlayStation does comes down to flipping millions of these 0s and 1s really, really fast. It’s binary. Simple. Elegant. And incredibly powerful—for most things.
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