His hair was already beginning to turn grey. And it seemed strange to him that he had grown so much older, so much plainer during the last few years. The shoulders on which his hands rested were warm and quivering. He felt compassion for this life, still so warm and lovely, but probably already not far from beginning to fade and wither like his own. Why did she love him so much? He always seemed to women different from what he was, and they loved in him not himself, but the man created by their imagination, whom they had been eagerly seeking all their lives; and afterwards, when they noticed their mistake, they loved him all the same. And not one of them had been happy with him. Time passed, he had made their acquaintance, got on with them, parted, but he had never once loved; it was anything you like, but not love.
― Anton Chekhov, Lady with the Dog
This quote is from “The Lady with the Dog,” a short story by the Russian author Anton Chekhov, first published in 1899. The story is one of Chekhov’s most famous works, celebrated for its nuanced exploration of love, loneliness, and the complexity of human emotions.
It follows the story of Dmitri Dmitritch Gurov, a middle-aged man who has become disillusioned with his life and marriage, and Anna Sergeyevna, a younger, married woman with whom he begins an affair while vacationing in Yalta.
The passage captures a moment of introspection and profound realization for Gurov. His observation of his own physical aging and the fleeting nature of beauty and life reflects a deeper acknowledgment of his emotional and psychological journey.
Gurov’s life, until this point, has been marked by superficial relationships with women—interactions based not on genuine affection but on transient desire and societal expectations.
He recognizes that women have been attracted not to his authentic self but to an idealized version of him constructed by their desires and imaginations.
This realization speaks to the theme of illusion versus reality, a common motif in Chekhov’s work, highlighting how individuals often project their ideals and dreams onto others, only to eventually confront the dissonance between these illusions and the truth.
The warmth and quivering of the shoulders beneath his hands symbolize the immediacy and rawness of his connection with Anna Sergeyevna, contrasting sharply with the emotional detachment and coldness of his past interactions. His compassion for her, recognizing the inevitable decline that comes with time, mirrors his self-reflection on his own aging and the choices he has made in life.
The question, “Why did she love him so much?” signals Gurov’s bewilderment not just at her affection for him but at the concept of genuine love itself, something he has not experienced until this moment with Anna. This question underscores the theme of unfulfilled desire and the search for meaning and connection in life.
Chekhov masterfully concludes this reflection with the irony that only now, as Gurov’s hair turns grey and he faces the twilight years of his life, has he truly fallen in love for the first time.
This late blossoming of genuine affection underscores a poignant theme of Chekhov’s story: it is never too late for transformation and redemption through love.
Gurov’s realization represents a departure from his past—a life characterized by superficial relationships and emotional detachment—and a hopeful, albeit uncertain, step toward a more profound and meaningful existence.