When people are thinking of taking their first steps into kitchens, many around them are quick to give advice. They will warn of the toil involved, the strength of character and the stamina that are needed, the long hours… But however much warning is given, one is always quick to disregard it and shrug one’s shoulders because really, how hard can it be?
In my years working in kitchens I have seen hundreds come and go; eager at the start but quickly disenchanted and just as eager to get out. Only a small percentage of people who walk into the world of gastronomy stay there once faced with this harsh environment.
Below is a list that I compiled of all the realities of day to day life as a chef, based on my own experience as well as on my observations.
What you can expect from making a living in a professional kitchen:
You’ll almost always have open wounds on your hands and arms.
You’ll never meet new people because your social life deteriorates into non-existence.
You’ll find it hard to start relationships because alone time will become a precious thing.
You’ll lose your social skills.
Your sense of humour will degrade into the politically incorrect and socially unacceptable.
You’ll eventually start swearing like a sailor and you won’t even notice yourself doing it.
You’ll turn into an anorak/monomaniac and always turn all conversations back to food.
You’ll earn a pittance for years/decades.
You’ll either lose a vast amount of weight or gain a vast amount of weight.
You’ll never ever have a tan ever again.
You won’t become famous.
You’ll develop a habit, whether it be coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, cannabis, cocaine, or even red bull.
Your feet will get destroyed.
Your back will get destroyed.
Your hands will get destroyed.
You’ll live in a constant state of sleep deprivation, indefinitely.
1. "I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man." Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier. Ernesto "Che" Guevara
2. Leonardo da Vinci was also overly modest, saying, “I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.” I guess the Mona Lisa isn’t good enough?
3. According to Steve Jobs’ sister Mona, the Apple founder’s last words were, "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow."
4. "Go on, get out – last words are for fools who haven’t said enough." To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity. –Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883
5. "KHAQQ calling Itasca. We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low." Last radio communication before her disappearance. Amelia Earhart
6. Frank Sinatra died after saying, “I’m losing it.”
7. George Orwell’s last written words were, “At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves.” He died at age 46.
8. Napoleon’s last words were, "France, armée, tête d’armée, Joséphine."("France, army, head of the army, Joséphine.")
9. Philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre turned to his partner Simone de Beauvoir and said, “I love you very much, my dear Beaver.”
10. "Now I shall go to sleep. Goodnight." – Lord George Byron
As an American, I was raised to believe I was entitled to 100% happiness, all day every day, until I died. But in our Declaration of Independence, we’re granted only the PURSUIT of happiness -
not actual happiness. The founders of this country were smart not to promise the tired, the poor and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free too much of a good thing.
The good news is that the pursuit of happiness is way better than being happy any day. The irony is that actual happiness blasts us across our faces, necks and chests all the time - but we’re so busy chasing the elusive notion of what happiness is to us at that moment, we tend to overlook the authentic bliss we create for ourselves and others in the process of simply trying to be happy. And by the time we realize these were, in fact, moments of happiness, it's too late: those moments are now memories.
Happiness can't be bottled. It can't be smoked, swallowed, shot or ejaculated. And there is no end game: you never cross the finish line and are suddenly happy. Even when all your wildest dreams come true, you still pursue happiness.
Thankfully, human beings are at their happiest when they feel they're at their most productive. So the only real happiness is the pursuit of happiness. When we chase happy, we feel our best. Life is about the journey, not the destination - so while the idea of happiness sounds great, it’s actually the pursuit of happiness that provides the most contentment. And in that pursuit, we are ultimately at our happiest.
- Kevin Smith
Guy Perfectly Turns His Roommate Into Disney Characters On Snapchat – Elite Daily
10 Evil Corporations That Put Profit Over People – Caveman Circus
Motivational posters for people who hate doing stuff – Bro My God
20 Awesome Movies That Went Under The Radar – Movies Talk
How To Suck At Your Religion – The Oatmeal
6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person – Cracked
27 Bold-Faced Liars Desperately Seeking Attention On The Internet – Distractify
A Hilarious Guide To Everyday Lies You Hear – Linkiest
Tumblr Has a Hardcore Meth Scene – Motherboard
Impatient Semi Truck Driver Pays The Price (video) – Leenks
Emmanuelle Chriqui Wore Tights in Los Angeles – G-Celeb
Why Chrome Uses So Much Freaking RAM – Life Hacker
12 Reasons Meaningful Relationships Are Becoming More And More Rare – Thought Catalog
1. “Because introverts are typically good listeners and, at least, have the appearance of calmness, we are attractive to emotionally needy people. Introverts, gratified that other people are initiating with them, can easily get caught in these exhausting and unsatisfying relationships.”
Adam S. McHugh
2. “Often we come home from a sharing session with a feeling that something precious has been taken away from us or that holy ground has been trodden upon.”
Henri J.M. Nouwen
3. “Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”
4. “Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don’t want to make eye contact while doing it.”
John Green, Thoughts from Places: The Tour
5. “…because I rant not, neither rave of what I feel, can you be so shallow as to dream that I feel nothing?”
R.D. Blackmore, Lorna Doone: A Romance of Exmoor
6. “The only problem with seeing people you know is that they know you.”
Brent Runyon, The Burn Journals
How To Hack Whole Foods – Thrillist
10 Answers To Questions You Always Wondered About – Caveman Circus
15 Things You Need to Understand About Mental Illness – Crowd Ignite
The 22 Weirdest Senior Portraits of All Time – Pleated Jeans
Girls are squishy and we love squishy – Bro My God
The Weird Stuff Osama Bin Laden Was Reading Before He Was Killed – VICE
18 People Reveal Tricks That Companies Don’t Want You To Know – Linkiest
The Blade Runner sequel will be shot by one of the greatest cinematographers of all time – The Verge
15 Of The Luckiest People In Human History – Distractify
Lightning Strikes Criminal During Police Chase (video) – Leenks
5-Year-Old Alabama Boy Teaches Us A Lesson In Humanity – Radass
The Worst Movies Of All Time – Ranker
Hottest Celebrity Women Over 40 – Hexagram
Singer Jewel Kilcher Makes Any Swimsuit Look Good! – G-Celeb
The most ridiculous dating sites on the internet – World Wide Interweb
Anastasia Ashley Needs Her Own Internet – The Blemish
Chinese Businessman Has Worst Day Ever, Loses $14 Billion In Half Hour – Elite Daily
“For the third time in my life, I’m caught in a daze, I tripped over the heart of a beautiful girl, and stumbled, helpless, straight into her gaze, now nothing else matters, but her beautiful curls. People might tell me that this is a craze, “it’s nothing, you fool, but the honeymoon phase!” But I don’t believe them, no, not for a day, I’ll run my fingers through her hair, and practice ‘Cafune’.”
“There are such things as envy and greed, which can even exist ‘tween the best of friends, the former occurs when one is in need, the other occurs again and again. One can satisfy such cravings quite easily, just borrow and borrow, it’s reasonably easy, to steal by borrowing, frames, cards, games, bingo! You’ve stumbled upon the act of ‘Tingo’.”